


I'll leave you one last kiss on your pillow ('Fore I fly away)

by Unshaded_Streaks_Of_Me



Category: The Heroes of Olympus - Rick Riordan
Genre: Alternate Universe, Angst, Heart Break, Infidelity, Letter, M/M, Red Scrawls
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-02-11
Updated: 2016-02-11
Packaged: 2018-05-19 17:16:15
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,355
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/5975167
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Unshaded_Streaks_Of_Me/pseuds/Unshaded_Streaks_Of_Me
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>You broke my heart but I love you with all the pieces.<br/>I always will.<br/>                                                                                                                -Will”</p>
            </blockquote>





	I'll leave you one last kiss on your pillow ('Fore I fly away)

**Author's Note:**

> Title is from Troye Sivan's 'Lost Boy'

The last thing Nico expected was a letter from Will Solace. The untidy scrawl on the envelope was unmistakable – the typical doctor font. Nico felt a burst of anger surge through him and forced down the urge to rip the envelope apart without reading its contents. 

It had been a week. An entire week since Will had disappeared. All he’d gotten was a call from his sister-in-law telling him that Will was out of town and completely fine. But that didn’t stop Nico from worrying. How could it? His husband had disappeared into the night, leaving no trace he was gone except that he wasn’t physically there and he expected a phone call from his sister to calm Nico down? And after a week of worrying, unreturned calls and texts, unfruitful visits to the hospital, Will decides to send him a letter? It took everything Nico had to not chuck the paper in the trash.

But concern got the better of him. Nico settled down on the sofa and opened the sealed envelope with trembling fingers. The paper was thin and crumbled, almost like the writer had crumbled it up to throw away before changing his mind. But that wasn’t what caught Nico by surprise. The entire letter was written in red. Something Will never did. He held a belief that red was never meant to be used for writing. It held too much pain, too much foreboding. It wasn’t the colour of love. It was the colour of heart break.

Nico’s hands started trembling as a sense of fear came over him. Taking a deep breath to steady himself, he straightened out the letter in his hands to read it.

_“Nico,_

_Remember when I invited you over for my birthday party when we were 18? You were afraid. You were afraid of rejection for being closed off and different. I laughed and told you that that would never happen, that everyone respected you and was just slightly intimidated by you. You trusted me and came to the party. We hung out a lot after that._

_Remember when I asked you out a couple of months later? You were reluctant. You were reluctant because you thought you hurt everyone around you and that you would end up hurting me. I laughed and said that I knew you never would because you were a changed man, a man who knew and trusted himself. You trusted me and we went out for coffee as a couple the next day. You proudly called me your boyfriend after that._

_Remember when I asked you to marry me? You were so scared. You were scared I would leave you someday, run out of love for you. I laughed and told you that would never happen, that you were too lovely and amazing to leave. You trusted me and let me slip the ring in your finger. We got married a month later._

_You trusted me throughout._

_It’s always been that way, hasn’t it? YOU trusting ME? You trusted me to hold the cards. You trusted me to stick to the vows I made on our wedding day. I just went along because I loved you. I mean, I love you. And I trusted you enough to think you loved me too. Funny how life works, right? I still love you._

_When Percy and Annabeth had their first child, I remember you were gushing with happiness. You were the boy’s favourite uncle, the one who would pamper him and fuss over him and always be first in line to babysit. I remember watching you play with your nephew and falling more in love with you._

_A few years later, every one of our friends had a family. A child that made their little private bubble happier. I remember asking if you ever thought of adopting. I remember you looking at me with those beautiful, brown eyes of yours and saying that it was too big of a responsibility. That neither of us were capable enough to take it. We fought after that. I remember not talking to you for days._

_But imagine my surprise when I found that you WERE in fact capable enough to be responsible for a child.”_

 

Nico gasped, his eyes tearing up. There was no way Will could have found out. He’d made sure he never would. That couldn’t be why his Will had left him. It couldn’t be. His heart strained against his chest, hammering painfully. How could Nico have let this happen? How could he have lost control?

He wiped his eyes on his sleeves and continued reading, the tear in his heart growing with every word.

_“You were always an avid traveler. You travelled every nook and corner of America, you frequently visited Italy, your native country, you travelled to the grasslands of Africa, to China, all around Europe. You still do. You always go alone, though._

_I always wondered why you liked travelling alone so much. I figured it gave you a sense of adventure, a sense of independence, that you don’t have a gullible, stupid husband tracking your every move. So I let you go. All the time. Once a month, you were gone for days and I wouldn’t worry at all. Because you trusted me and I trusted you._

_So imagine my surprise when I found out that you have a daughter. A three-year-old child who lives in San Francisco with her mother. You know the worst part about that? We’ve been married for five years. You had her after we got married. After we made our vows, after we gave ourselves to each other._

_I couldn’t look at you the same way after that. You were the same Nico I knew. Happy and always smiling, sassy and heavy on the eye rolling. Every night, I’d lay in bed, staring at you next to me and imagine what it would have been like if you’d told me that you cheated on me. I’m sorry. That’s too direct, isn’t it? How about – you had a child without me. Much more pleasant to the ears, right? Doesn’t change the pain that comes with it._

_But I could have forgiven you, you know? If you had told me that you had a child. Would you have introduced me to your daughter? Would you have taken me along on your ‘trips’? Would you have loved me more? Would you, would you, would you?_

_I couldn’t bear it afterwards. The questions, the possibilities. I didn’t have the courage to ask you about it. I was a coward. I was a fool. I was mad at myself for trusting you. I was mad at you for letting me trust you. I felt like our marriage was a lie. Have you felt like that, Nico? Have you ever stayed up at night and wondered if whatever we’d built was a huge, painful lie? Have you ever known what it’s like to feel betrayed?_

_But it’s fine now. I left. I kept everything behind and left. I feel free. But that’s the problem. I never liked individual freedom. I’d prefer being with you. But I don’t want to be with you either. That’s the worst part._

_You’re probably wondering why I wrote this in red, though it’s undoubtedly obvious by now. You broke my heart, Nico. You shattered it into a million pieces. I hope you know that._

_You broke my heart but I love you with all the pieces._

_I always will._

_-Will”_

Tears were now flowing freely down Nico’s cheeks. A sob bubbled in his chest and came out with a loud gasp.  _I hurt my Will. I hurt my Will. I hurt my Will._  Chanting it like a mantra, Nico stood up shakily, clenching the letter in his hand and strode out the door to his sister-in-law’s place. Tears pooled his vision as he made his way down the streets, ignoring the questioning stares of strangers around him.

Will deserved better. Nico was a fool and Will deserved better. He’d put those pieces back together. He would mend Will’s heart. He’d give Will what he deserved.

**Author's Note:**

> Please comment! Criticism appreciated.


End file.
